She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
