I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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