when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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