new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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