90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
