If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Mom said you looked used
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
