Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
