My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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