apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
