My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
