god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
