I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
