Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
