how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
