She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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