addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
