My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My balls are so social today.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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