have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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