you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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