Need sex. Gaining weight.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
