Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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