airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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