I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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