I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
