either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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