he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
