Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
