I wish I only lived at night.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
