My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
