right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I could fuck to npr.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
