Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
