am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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