I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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