we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize