I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The power of my boobs compel you
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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