I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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