Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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