Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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