dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
