The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
