question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
