You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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