she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
whose ass print is on the piano?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
