Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
