Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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