she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
