Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Randomize
