i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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