nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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