I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
