ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
