Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
