im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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