i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize