I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
