I'm so fucking centered right now
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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