So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize