Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
