Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Dick very happy bro
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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